Love or Lust
by mugglelover27
Summary: Hermione is about to marry Ron Weasley... when she has second thoughts. What happens when she leaves him at the altar? This is my first Dramione fanfic!


_**A/N: I am a big Dramione fan and this is my first attempt at a Dramione Fanfic. The idea came to me when I was listening to Cath by Death Cab for Cutie. I also have a sort of interlude planned which I may release as a separate oneshot. I hope you like this fic! I worked very hard on it. I know Draco seems a bit OOC, but I wanted to show him as being changed. This is set six years after DH and I thought that was ample time for him to undergo a change in personality. Please enjoy. **_

_**Just a note that every new scene in the story starts with a bold word. I tried to show this in a different way but it wouldn't show up.**_

_**Keep in mind that I LOVE reviews! Any constructive criticism is invited. Please let me know if you find grammatical or spelling errors. Thanks!**_

_**Also, flames will be extinguished with an aguamenti charm.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the HP universe or characters. I just enjoy manipulating storylines!**_

_**Now I will stop talking and let you read!**_

Love or Lust

**Hermione** Granger stood looking at herself in a mirror. She was wearing a white dress; a wedding dress. A wedding dress that Mrs. Weasley was lending her.

Today was the day that Hermione would marry her boyfriend of six years, Ronald Weasley. He had finally proposed and she had happily accepted.

Now, as the brainy witch studied herself in the unflattering dress, she began to doubt her decision. She wasn't bursting out of her skin with happiness. _No, _she told herself, _don't think this. You're just getting cold feet. It happens to everyone….doesn't it?_

She began thinking of her parents and wishing she could ask her mother this question. The loss of them overcame her thoughts. Tears pricked her eyes as she recalled the night they had died in a car accident just over two years ago. Then she was hit with the memory of how Ron hadn't even taken off work at the ministry to be with her as she mourned the sudden loss of her family. She wondered how she could be marrying someone who had not been there for her when she needed him most.

_I'm just over thinking things, _she told herself. _Think about the good times, not the bad._

Her mind began delivering memories. Happy memories. The one thing she noticed about all of these memories was the fact that they all took place back when they were at Hogwarts. Back before she and Ron were even together.

Thinking of herself back then she recalled her thirst for knowledge which seemed to have dwindled in the passing years. Hermione realized how parched her mind was. It was begging for information.

She glanced at the door that led to the small ceremony. Very small. Only family was invited, and none of that family belonged to Hermione….yet.

Hermione Weasley. Hermione Jean Weasley. Hermione Weasley. The name didn't taste right on her tongue.

There was a knock on the door and Ginny called, "Ten minutes until the ceremony, Hermione!"

"Alright." Was Hermione's reply before Ginny bounded off to make sure everything else was in order.

With that Hermione's decision was made. She changed out of the dress and into regular clothes, wrote a note of apology and apparated to the only place she could think of.

**Hermione** stared at the castle that had housed her for so many years. A great sense of joy filled her as she made her way to the door.

A house elf admitted her and she entered the empty halls. The new term wouldn't start for another week.

She made her way to the headmaster's office and after announcing the password "gillyweed" knocked on the door and was called in. The man sitting at the desk looked up from a stack of papers and she approached. Upon seeing her he let out a somewhat confused "Hermione?"

"Hello Neville!" the bushy haired young woman replied. "Or shall I say Professor Longbottom?"

"Please don't." he gave a short chuckle. "It's great to see you. What brings you here?"

"Actually," she paused, hoping her request wasn't too stupid, "I was hoping you could give me a job. I know it's a horrible thing to ask."

"No. You have perfect timing. I was just going through applications for Transfiguration teachers. You would be perfect for it."

"Oh, I couldn't take that position." Hermione said. "I've not submitted an application."

"To be truthful, I need you to take the position. All of the applicants are hopeless. Please, take the job and do me a favor."

"Oh. Alright then! If you insist, I accept!" she answered cheerfully.

Just then, Luna came bounding into the room saying, "Neville, dear, would you like me to put up protection from nargles for the meeting tomorrow?" It was then that she noticed Hermione and quickly wrapped her old friend in a hug. "How did you get here Hermione?" she asked as the embrace ended. "Oh no. You seem to be surrounded by nargles. Your mind must feel very jumbled."

"Luna," Neville said to his wife, "Hermione is going to be the new Transfiguration teacher."

"That's wonderful! I'm the Charms teacher. Oh! I need to go put up those nargle protection spells for the meeting tomorrow." And she dashed off.

"What meeting?" Hermione asked Neville.

"Beginning of the year meeting. You need to come since you are now a professor. You may start moving into your office as soon as you want."

"Thank you so much, Neville!" Hermione exclaimed as she gave him a gratuitous hug.

**The** following night Hermione stood with Neville and Luna in the Great Hall. They were awaiting the arrival of the other educators of Hogwarts. A few people streamed into the hall. Hermione recognized them all, though she didn't know them very well.

As she stood and listened to a conversation between Luna and the librarian someone behind Hermione said, "Granger?" She turned around to come face to face with her old enemy, Draco Malfoy.

"Malfoy?" she said inquiringly, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm the Defense against the Dark Arts teacher. Why are _you_ here?"

"I'm the new Transfiguration teacher." She answered defiantly. An odd silence fell between them. Then Hermione asked, "How long have you been teaching here?"

"This is my third year." Was his short reply.

"Oh. Then I suppose the position is no longer cursed." She joked and was successful in getting him to smirk.

"It seems not." He then felt it was his turn to ask a question. "How are you and Weasley?"

Hermione visibly stiffened and turned her head to look at the ground beside her. This was answer enough for Draco. "I'm sorry." He rushed to say. "I shouldn't have asked."

"It's alright." Hermione announced as she looked up. "You didn't know…. No one does."

After a pause Draco said, "How do you feel about being a teacher?" Hermione was grateful to him for changing the subject.

"I'm not sure yet." She answered. "Do you have any tips about working here?"

"Well, I finally discovered how to get some power over Peeves." He smiled.

"I could use help there. He already tried locking me out of my office." With this conversation started they began to feel more comfortable with each other. The rest of the evening was spent in pleasant conversation.

**Hermione** was sitting in her office staring blindly out the window. She was absorbed in her thoughts and didn't even hear Draco enter through the open door behind her. He paused in the doorway and gazed at her for a moment. Deciding not to startle her he quietly backed up a few steps and when he next walked forward let his feet fall heavier so as to make more sound. She heard his approaching footsteps but did not acknowledge his presence until he softly knocked on the open door.

She slowly turned her head to look at him and he was disturbed by the blank look on her face. "Are you alright, Hermione?" He asked quietly, cautiously, and she could hear the sincere concern in his voice.

"I was just thinking. About-"

"You don't have to tell me anything."

"But, if I do… Will you listen?"

"Yes." Was his simple reply.

She motioned for him to sit down and he did. She then told him why she had taken the position of Transfiguration professor. "I ran away. I panicked and I ran…. And I can't go back." Her words caught in her throat and Draco put a comforting arm on her shoulder.

"I'm sure you can go back." He said positively.

"No. I can't. I don't even want to. I thought I loved him… But I don't. I don't think I ever really did. It was just teen lust and we took it too far." Tears formed in the corners of her eyes. "Why couldn't I have realized it sooner? Why did I have to let everyone go through so much? All the planning and hopes. I feel so inconsiderate! I'm a horrible person!"

Draco wiped a stray tear from her cheek. "You are not a horrible person, Hermione."

"Yes I am!" she contradicted. "I left him at the altar! How could I do that?"

"You were just confused and had to make a decision." He made his voice soft and soothing, hoping to calm her down and help her realize that she was nowhere near horrible. "What you did was the smart decision in your situation. If you had gone through with it you would not have been happy and neither would he. Your choices were to leave, stay unhappy for the rest of your life, or possibly end up getting divorced. You chose correctly, as you always do."

At his kind words Hermione looked into his face. He was perfectly sincere. She couldn't help but think of how much he had changed since their school days. "Thank you." She said quietly and gave a small smile.

He beamed back and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her to her feet. "Now," he suggested, "how about we get some lunch?"

"That sounds wonderful." She replied and they made their way to the kitchens. All the while one of his arms was wrapped around her shoulders.

**"Hermione!"** a furious call sounded somewhere near the Great Hall one day before the students would arrive.

The entire staff was gathered in the Great Hall at this time having a meeting. Hermione recognized the voice calling her name and instantly froze. The hall went silent.

"Hermione, I know you're here!" The voice called again from beyond the closed doors to the hall. It had grown considerably louder and Hermione knew he was close. She put her head in her hands and slumped onto a chair. Draco bent down in front of her and put his hands on her shoulders.

She drew her hands slightly away from her face and whispered "I can't do it. I can't face him."

Draco looked into her eyes and said in a reassuring tone, "Yes. You can. I know you can." He gave her a small smile.

"HERMIONE!" The call was loud and insistent. Hermione looked at Draco and he gave a small nod of his head and she stood and went for the door.

She slipped out of the Great Hall and was surprised when Ron embraced her in a bone-crushing hug. "Hermione." He sighed happily. "I've been looking everywhere for you. Why did you leave?" He still hadn't let go of her and she felt awkward in his grip. She couldn't think of how to answer him and remained silent, allowing him to keep her in his arms. "Just got cold feet, right? Well, it won't happen next time. What are you doing here anyway?"

"I work here, Ron." She grumbled quietly, still not hugging him back.

"Work? I didn't think you wanted to work?"

"When did I say that?" she exclaimed, appalled as she pushed herself away from him.

"Well… I just thought that since-"

"Since we were getting married I would be a perfect little housewife?!" She knew the look on his face. It said she was right, but he didn't want to admit it. "I can't believe you!"

"I made a mistake. Now I know. I will never think anything like that again. I promise. Just, please don't be angry with me." He pleaded.

"How can I not be angry with you?" her mind was going crazy and she felt she had to say everything she was thinking. It was bursting out of her and she couldn't stop it. "There are so many things I'm mad at you for!"

"What are you talking about? What did I do?"

"What did you do when my parents died?" she asked him.

"I stayed with you all night, comforting you." He replied confusedly.

"Exactly! All night, and the next day you were back to work! My parents _died, _Ron. That doesn't heal in one night. You were so inconsiderate! I needed you and you weren't there!"

"Hermione, I'm so sorry. I was a bastard, alright. Can you forgive me?...... Will you still marry me?" his face was sad yet hopeful and it only made it harder for Hermione.

"Ron…. I……" Her eyes filled with tears as she tried to speak. "I can't marry you."

"Why not?" his tone implied that he didn't believe her.

"I don't think we would be happy. I-I just think we stayed together too long even though we weren't working out. You were there for all of our fights. Real relationships and people who truly love each other don't fight that much or over such trivial things." Her voice kept catching in her throat and she could taste her tears. She wanted nothing more than to run.

"Hermione," Ron said taking a few steps forward and clutching her hands in his, "I _do_ love you. You have to know that."

"I don't doubt that you love me, but in what way? I think…. Maybe when we started dating it was just teen lust, but we mistook it for love and never wanted to let it go. I love you, Ron, but as a brother and a friend. I'm sorry….. but-…. I can't marry you." She then reached into her pocket and pulled out an engagement ring and pressed it into his palm. Ron stared at the little gold piece of jewelry in his hand for a moment and suddenly stormed out of the castle before Hermione could say anything more. Hermione broke down in sobs and slid to the ground with her head in her hands.

Draco silently exited the Great Hall and went to Hermione. He sat next to her on the floor and pulled her into his arms where she continued to sob. He hugged her close and stroked her hair while she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest. He said nothing as he allowed her tears to soak his shirt.

When her sobs had subsided she looked up at him. Her face was sad and tears were still pouring out of her eyes. "I-I can't go back in there." She said hoarsely indicating the Great Hall.

"You don't need to. We ended the meeting for now."

"I'm just going to go back to my room." She began to stand and Draco helped her up. Noticing how off balance she was he walked with her to her quarters. When they reached the door he said a goodnight and began to leave. "Wait, Draco." He heard her call softly after him. He turned to look at her. "Will you… will you please stay with me for a little while? I-I just need someone to talk to."

"Sure." He replied and walked back to her.

"Thank you." She whispered with a small smile.

"I'm always here for you." He said wiping tears from her eyes.

They sat and talked for the next six hours. Whenever Hermione needed to cry again Draco would comfort her and hug her close and, if the moment allowed, would do his best to make her laugh or smile.

**The** school year was half over and Hermione and Draco had become surprisingly great friends. There was neither a teacher nor student who never remarked on the oddly close friendship between the Transfiguration and Defense against the Dark Arts professors.

When all the students had taken their seats at dinner in the Great Hall, and Hermione and Draco had taken their places next to each other at the front table (which they still both found a rather odd experience), Neville stood up to give an announcement. "Students," he began, "This year we are having a contest between the teachers. Each one of you will be voting for your favorite teacher and at the end of the year we will announce the winner. Teachers," he turned to look at them, "I suggest you begin sucking up to your students." A ripple of laughter resonated through the hall.

"What does the winner get?" Draco suddenly questioned and Hermione elbowed him in the side for his outburst. This sent another wave of laughter through the room. "I'm just wondering." He remarked to her.

"Well…." Neville said and stopped.

"Haven't gotten there yet, I see." Draco said lightheartedly.

"Not quite yet, no, though I am working on it."

"Maybe, a plaque?" Hermione suggested.

"Boooooring!" Draco exclaimed childishly. The hall erupted in laughter, students and teachers alike.

"You will get the title of Hogwarts' favorite teacher. Good enough for you?" Hermione challenged.

"How about a well brewed vile of Felix Felicis?" He directed at the Potions professor.

Hermione sighed. "Still haven't gotten over losing that to Harry in sixth year have you?"

"That's not what this is about. I just think it would be nice to have a vile handy."

"Are you that confident you're going to win?"

Draco was just about to answer when Neville cut in saying, "I do believe our meal is over. Students must now proceed to their dormitories."

**All** the students had gone back to their dormitories for the night and Draco and Hermione were the last people to exit the Great Hall.

"I already know who's going to win that contest." Draco said in a matter of fact tone as they made their way to the doors.

"You do, do you?" Hermione replied. "Well, who do you think it will be?"

"Only the most well respected, loved, intelligent, beautiful person here." He answered gazing sideways at her.

"Binns?" Hermione joked. Draco laughed and she realized how much she enjoyed hearing him laugh.

"No. The only thing to like about him is the fact that anyone can sleep in his class."

"Who then?" This question was posed as they reached the doors.

Draco moved closer to Hermione, looked deep into her eyes and whispered, "You." before sweeping her into a tender kiss.

To say Hermione was surprised would be an understatement. After a moment of shock she kissed him back passionately. She was the happiest she had ever been. Draco decided he wouldn't need that Felix Felicis after all.

**Three Years Later**

Hermione Granger stood looking at herself in a mirror. She was wearing another white dress; another wedding dress. This one was simple, but it was hers. It was her own wedding dress and she loved it.

Today was the day she would marry her boyfriend of three years, Draco Malfoy. She never thought that thinking of that name could make her so happy.

As she gazed at herself in the mirror she couldn't be happier. She realized with a smile that she was practically bursting out of her skin with happiness. The past three years had been the happiest of her life.

She knew that she was marrying the best man possible. Yes, he hadn't been the best person before, but he had changed so much. Hermione knew her parents would be happy for her. He made her happy and was always there for her.

She couldn't remember a time he had made her angry or sad that they hadn't made up. They barely ever fought, and when they did it was simple to say they were sorry and immediately go back to being happy. Often times they didn't have to say anything. They knew in the way they looked at each other when they were sorry.

They had both decided to stay teaching at Hogwarts. They both loved teaching and couldn't think of leaving. And after all, Hogwarts was truly part of their lives. It also was the place they had first met and the place they met so many years later.

Hermione glanced anxiously at the door that led to the ceremony. Beyond that door were friends and family alike. She was getting the wedding she wanted; One that included everyone near and dear to her. Now if only it would start.

Hermione Malfoy. Hermione Jean Malfoy. Hermione Malfoy. The name didn't just taste right on her tongue, it was perfect.

There was a knock on the door and Ginny Potter and Luna Longbottom came bouncing into the room. "It's almost time!" Ginny said happily. Ginny and Harry had forgiven Hermione for what happened between her and Ron and were her best friends once again.

"You look so happy." Luna commented.

"I am!" Hermione answered with a giggle.

"Are you nervous?" Ginny inquired.

With a wide smile Hermione replied "No." She realized she wasn't nervous at all. She was a mixture of emotions, but none of them were negative. She was happy, ecstatic, anxious, but no, not nervous.

Just then Harry appeared at the door. "It's time for the ceremony." He said.

"Well, we're off!" Ginny exclaimed as she and Luna gave Hermione hugs and went on their way down the aisle as bridesmaids.

"Are you ready?" Harry asked as he took her arm.

"More than you can imagine." She sighed happily. Since Hermione's father had passed away she had asked Harry to walk her down the aisle. He was more than happy to accept. Hermione was like a sister to him and he was like a brother to her. "Just don't let me trip." She joked as they exited the room.

They turned a corner and were facing the aisle. The wedding march began and they began to walk. Hermione's eyes never left the face of the person waiting for her at the other end. Draco's eyes never left the beauty walking down the aisle to meet him. Both had the largest smiles on their faces.

When they finally met Draco took Hermione's hands in his and refused to let go. As they shared their first kiss as a married couple cheers rose up from the crowd of friends and family. The happy two knew they couldn't be happier because they loved each other and always would.

Fin

_**A/N: I have to give a shout - out to my first and best reviewer! That would be my friend Brittany who is a big Dramione supporter and an even bigger Draco fangirl. I sent her the story bit by bit as I was writing it. Her enthusiasm kept me going with writing and she always had a silly comment, my favorite being "Draco is the sweetest bastard ever!" Thank you bunches Brittany!**_

_**I hope you enjoyed my first Dramione fic! I am quite proud of it. I managed to get it done in about two or three weeks, and that is great for me. The scene I am most proud of is the one with Ron. It just kind of came out. I hadn't originally planned it, but I decided I needed something to tie that bit up. I was really surprised with where it went. I hope you liked the story! Please review!**_

_**~~~Kat**_


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